09/05/2012 § Leave a comment
It still seems strange to me how I’m still thinking about Marcella even though I saw her for two minutes today. I wasn’t expecting to see her when I walked into the television studio, and when I saw her in the equipment room, that familiar feeling of nerve started rising up from the bottom of my stomach. I always feel calm and confident when I have a plan in place, but today’s plan didn’t involve seeing Marcella. Thus, when I saw her I mumbled a hello and immediately began fighting the nervousness that was starting to take hold of me.
Her smile, when she saw me, lit up her face and she said hello. She fumbled with the lock to the equipment room. Once she locked the door, she remembered she had left a cable inside and said, to no one in particular, that she had forgotten something. “That’s a shock,” was my reply, and she looked down and smiled. That was a smile I had only seen once before, the day she directed a program I was producing. She was the new girl, so I spent the production teasing her mercilessly, something she had apparently enjoyed. Anyway, that smile was now back. She had missed me.
I was looking for Erik so I could talk music with him. More specifically, I was hoping to talk guitar with him, since he was a member of a local band. I was hoping he would direct my production.
Since I was hoping to see Erik, and not Marcella, I made a quick exit, but not before she had told me what she was doing that day. This took all of thirty seconds. I ignored her and went about my business. I didn’t expect to see her again.
The first two episodes produced that day went poorly. There were too many delays, and the talent was feeling a bit cantankerous. We had it out at the conclusion of the second episode. It was in the middle of this fight that Marcella showed up again. Kevin, the talent, stopped our fight to talk to her. I was still pissed so I just glared at Kevin. I could feel Marcella trying to catch my eye, so I turned and looked at her briefly. She was wearing jeans, a dark taupe tank top, and what appeared to be espadrilles. I hadn’t noticed this before, but she actually looked rather nice. She smiled when I looked at her.
I still wasn’t really prepared to deal with her, and was still focused on winning my argument with Kevin so that the third episode would go smoothly. If nothing else, single-take episodes go fast. Kevin wasn’t having any of this, and continued to chat with Marcella while I glared at him. Marcella had interviewed some Chamber of Commerce members and was on her way to tape the afternoon session. She had to stop by for more equipment. Or so she claimed. I could feel her looking at me, so I turned and glared at her. It appeared that she didn’t know what to make of this, so she looked down, the smile disappearing from her face. She and Kevin made small talk for a few minutes more, and then she said she had to leave. I said “Good, get out of here,” and as she turned away I could see a smile begin to form at the corner of her lips.
Kevin and I went back to fighting, then w hammered out a game plan for the third episode. It went perfectly, we quit for the day, and I went to run some errands.
I figure I spent maybe two minutes the entire day interacting with Marcella, yet I can’t stop dwelling on them. They weren’t heavenly or magical, and there wasn’t much content to them. I don’t really remember what she said, nor do I remember most of the details of what she said. What I do remember is the way she smiled when she looked at me, and when I teased her. She’s still nursing a crush on me, and not doing a good job of hiding it.
When you know what to look for, two minutes is all you need to find it. The key is to focus on what’s done, not what’s said. Our spoken conversations were brief and shallow, and almost formally polite. She didn’t say anything to me that indicated she was still interested in me. Her smile, though, conveyed a mountain of information, a mountain so massive that only the willfully obtuse couldn’t see it. I only had two minutes to look at what she was trying to show me, but those two minutes were sufficient.
Two minutes was enough time to see into her soul.